Curiosity
noun
1. a strong desire to know or learn something.
I’m sure most of us are familiar with the little proverb “Curiosity killed the cat”. Interestingly, the phrase originated as “care killed the cat”, with ‘care’ meaning worry or sorrow. Over time ‘care’ became replaced with ‘curiosity’ and it was used as a warning about the potential dangers of being too inquisitive. An effective tool to maintain an existing power dynamic, control behaviour or simply avoid answering difficult questions.
And yet, without curiosity there can be no discovery. We need only observe a baby or young child to see how vital exploration is to their development; they are constantly trying, testing, touching and tasting their way through life. To be curious is to quest for new knowledge, to make room for fresh or deeper understanding.
Not only does curiosity allow us to learn more about the external world around us, I believe it opens the door for a deeper discovery of our inner world and a more intimate understanding of self. It helps us to stop struggling and simply observe.
When we are stuck in behavioural patterns we don’t like or experience strong emotions that make us uncomfortable or afraid, our fear and discomfort can cause us to adopt coping strategies that keep us stuck. We may blame others for our behaviour or try to stuff down what we are feeling. We may start trying harder to be different which in turn allows our critic to muscle its way into the mix. We set ourselves up against what we are experiencing; it becomes the enemy we need to fix or get rid of. We remain stuck in the exhausting battle of fighting against our very selves.
Imagine inviting curiosity onto the battleground. Rather than wielding a sword of judgement and condemnation, it sits quietly and watches. It doesn’t shout the accusing questions of “Why do I do this, what’s wrong with me, why can’t I be different?” Instead, it gently wonders “What’s happening for me right now?” It allows space for whatever is in the body to be there and move through, holding compassion and acceptance around it. Curiosity doesn’t seek to change or control, it merely seeks to know you more fully.
Curiosity gives us permission to stay with ourselves and learn. So let’s adopt a new quote, this one from the Irish poet James Stephens; “Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will”.
Make a little bit of room for curiosity, it won’t kill you.
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