Christmastime.
The time of year where many of us return to the stage of our childhood as we gather with our parents and our siblings.
What’s that like for you?
What do you notice about yourself as you spend time with your family of origin? Do you feel different in a way that you can’t quite pinpoint? Do you behave in ways that aren’t so noticeable in other settings? Do you lose your sense of who you are as an adult in your everyday world and feel somehow smaller?
Have you been typecast into a specific family role?
Cast your mind back to your childhood and consider your family as though watching a drama unfold on a theatre stage. What roles were assigned to the performers? Can you identify the responsible one; the difficult one; the quiet one; the good one; the smart one; the not so smart; the clown?
Which family role was given to you?
What have you done with that role as your life stage expanded from the original cast of characters?
For some, our childhood script can be so deeply imprinted and familiar that it shapes and defines our behaviour across all spheres of our adult life. We haven’t been able to develop our ‘character’ further and feel squashed within its confines. We act it out in the choices we make, our relationships and how we regard ourselves. We’ve been typecast.
For others, we have managed to stretch our assigned script a little; we have learnt how to improvise, we’ve added new lines and enjoy the freedom and possibilities that brings. Then we return home to our original drama; the new lines we have learnt disappear and we are left holding the old, old script. We’ve been typecast.
If you recognise yourself in either of these scenarios, take a closer look at the script in your hand. Be curious.
What do you value in the character you were originally given? Are there parts that serve you well as you walk in your adult world? Are there aspects that feel authentic, that you are happy to hold onto?
On the other hand, are there lines that no longer fit, that get in the way of how you truly want to live and relate to others? Is the role now too small and restrictive; does room need to be made to accommodate and integrate the extra facets of the adult you?
Is it time to work on your script?
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